I was mortified to discover I had a broken tooth and a terrible cavity in one of my back molars. Of course, in my mind, I was thinking I have some kind of an infection and would have to have an extraction. The infection was going to go into my blood and kill me.
I’m not over dramatic or much of a worry wart at all. *eye roll*
So, I went to the dentist for the first time in 10 years. It was embarrassing to admit, but he did say my teeth were surprisingly in great shape. (I was prepared to be told I had severe gum disease or something.) Well, other than the one that needed work. He said I needed a root canal.
I told them I might be pregnant. It was embarrassing to admit that it was too early to test, I was just watching my cycles so closely I knew I could be. You know. The time between conception and implantation.
Try explaining that to a man. He’s a dentist, not an OB. Awkward.
All of the girls in the office were giggling and saying, “hope you get good news this week!”
I figured I probably wasn’t pregnant. I wanted to be. In fact, I think that was one of my last posts on here. (Sorry for being so MIA, by the way.) But I knew the disappointment all too well. I scheduled my root canal for the following week and planned to take a test for peace of mind.
Of course, I was barely 3 weeks pregnant – not even far enough to show on a test. But peeing on a stick is an irresistible thing. It’s an addiction when you’re trying to conceive. Of course, I went and bought a cheap early response test and took it.
Negative. WELL MAYBE. Nah. It’s negative. We’ll see.
It was a two pack, so of course I took the other test the next morning.
I saw that same BARELY there squinter line. My mom glanced at the test under the light and shook her head as if she felt sorry for me.
“I don’t see it.”
Maybe the tests were defective? I told myself I’d wait til two days before my appointment to take another test.
And my resolve lasted all of about 2 hours before I went to the Dollar General and bought the $1 cheapies. (Those are just as sensitive and accurate as the name brand. Just so you know. Don’t waste $15 on EPT.)
I waited til the next morning to take it and there was a line. Faint. My mom still didn’t see it. My husband kind of saw it.
I crawled into my bed and told the Lord that if this was really a pregnancy and I wasn’t going crazy, I was thankful for each moment. I held my tummy as I imagined the little person only the size of a pen tip. I wouldn’t let myself imagine a baby I’d give birth to. I didn’t even look up a possible due date. I just imagined my little seed, praying for him or her to get snug in there.
Each day, the lines got darker. So, I called my dentist’s office and informed them of my good news. I’ll be honest – I wasn’t sure if it was good news yet. I was experiencing intense cramping and terrified of bleeding like I did with the pregnancy I lost. I’ll confess I checked each time I went to the restroom.
My dentist called back and said, “Well, congratulations! Looks like you called it, huh?”
We decided to hold off on the root canal until I was in my second trimester. (Well, last Wednesday.) The fella was so sweet and called me personally to explain why he didn’t feel comfortable doing the procedure so early on. I recommend this dentist to anyone local! Just saying!
So, the root canal was placed on hold and I began my newest journey of trusting in spite of the unknown.
More to come …
Caffeinated Confessions 