Sometimes these days I avoid telling people I’m married to a preacher. I’m proud of his calling and thankful for each opportunity he is blessed with to share God’s Word. I suppose I just don’t like the ideas that it conjures up in people’s minds. Okay, maybe it’s not people. Maybe I don’t like the ideas it conjures up in my mind. There’s more to me than that. God desires more for me than that.
Stay with me, here. I can already tell some have gasped at my confession. I really do have a meaningful purpose for sharing this.
I have shared my pitfalls of perfectionism, my inability to show grace to others or even myself. It’s not news that I have spent my early years as a saved person more concerned with the outward than with the inward. It’s a shameful thing, really and it put a huge damper on my relationship with Christ.
There is freedom in Christ, yet so often times we put ourselves in bondage under the law of man. I can’t explain the freedom I felt when God showed me that my job is to please no man, but to please Him. The way I live as His child – first and foremost- is a deep matter of the heart and not of the clothes I wear or how much I do. Those things are a result of the beautiful transformation taking place on the inside. Those things should always bring glory to the work HE has done in my heart, not to stroke my ego on how spiritual I am. It must start with being His first – getting into the Word, praying, letting Him do the work. If we are obedient to His will, the changes will come. He will do amazing things through us. Anything less than going to Him is done out of the flesh, apart from the Spirit – plain and simple.
I am trying to get a better grasp on this as we have journeyed this awkward season of growth in our lives. We are where we are because we failed to look to Him for our strength and motivation – but instead sought after shaping up what looked good on the outside. This is a beautiful time of exploring God’s Word and allowing Him to truly shine through.
I am married to a man who has been called to preach. Even more so, he is a man who is saved by God’s grace and desires to serve Him. He seeks the Lord on leading our home. Before he was ever the guy who got behind the pulpit, he was the sound man in the back praying for his lost wife to get saved. And he was a child of the King. Before we are anything else, that’s who we are. That’s our identity. Before I’m ever the preacher’s wife, I’m his wife. Before I’m his wife, I am God’s child. I’m not good at any of those if my priorities over my relationship with God are out of whack. I don’t even know what any of that truly means in God’s mind if I’m not even following Him.
For God to save us and give us a new life, it’s a sad shame to still be dictated by the world and man as to how we ought to live. We’ve been given the Holy Spirit and the Word to help us grow into the people God wants us to be. We make a mess out of something so simple and amazing, don’t we? It doesn’t have to remain that way. Get back to square one. Get back to where you went wrong. And let God put the pieces together, to put you back on the path you belong. Follow Him, let Him work on you from the inside out … let the evidence of His Spirit speak for itself.
I said there’s more to me and that’s not because I am dissatisfied with the gifts and calling of God. I said it because God is much more than a label or a brand. Being His child, beginning at the wondrous work of salvation, is a transformation from the inside out. Any roles we are given beyond that is just icing on the cake – ultimately to bring honor and glory to the name of Christ.
Galatians 5:22-23But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.