8 o’clock rolls around, I go through the bedtime routine with my kids that never seems to end. I feel as though I’m walking in circles getting this one bathed, this one some toothpaste on their brush, and a drink for this one. We read books and I hear a sweet voice say, Just one more Mama, and although I’m so ready to be done, I can’t resist it. We say our prayers, everybody gets tucked in, and I say my final goodnight.
With a big sigh, I stand in the doorway of the girls’ room and say, they’re down finally.
The house is quiet and satisfyingly clean – I’m just ready to put my feet up and numb out into a good book or TV show.
My husband has been home for at least three hours, but we’ve barely had time to notice one another because we have been chasing kids and cleaning up from dinner. I think to myself that I know he needs attention and at the very least, someone to vent to about his day. I’m just too tired.
Sound familiar? We’ve poured ourselves in every aspect of our day and accomplished all that there is on our to do lists, but we fail to remember our spouse. I’m always happy to hear his voice when he calls to tell me he is coming home, I love seeing him walk through the door, and so on. However, sometimes I’m so drained at the end of the day that I don’t even have much to say.
I fear that this is where many couples who used to be hot for each other wind up co existing like good roommates, not husband and wife. They love each other, but often struggle to put out any extra effort when they’ve done everything through the day.
Though this is a realistic struggle and one I have definitely faced, I desire more for our family. We have important jobs and responsibilities as parents, employees, and in the ministries which we serve. However, if we fail each other and neglect our marriage, we’ve failed at our most important ministry. God made my husband and I for one another, to carry each other through life changes and difficulty. This is a bond that has to remain united and strong. We can make the most money, have the biggest ministry, the cleanest house – yet if we fail in our home, our first and most important ministry, we’ve done it all for naught.
Aside from my relationship with God, which should always be at the top, my husband and my marriage should receive top priority. My husband was the one who saw me at my weakest and my absolute worst. He was the one who laughed with me as we lived off of Ramen noodles and didn’t have two dimes to put together. He’s the one who made me swoon the first time he held my hand. He’s been there through it all with me. And if everything, I mean everything, falls away, he and I are all each other has. That relationship must be nurtured and strengthened.
My goal is to give my husband more of myself, not just the leftovers and a bland conversation I have after a very long day. I can’t forget the need the both of us have for one another. In a day where marriage is often treated carelessly and disrespected, we need to fight hard to keep our love and relationship strong.
Pray for your husband and pray for your marriage. Ask God to show you your weaknesses and how you can improve to be more giving in your relationship. Spend some real time thinking about what you love about your husband and how you can show him that.