Child rearing and discipline is probably one of my weakest points as a parent. I was 19 when I had my first baby and was totally clueless. My biggest worries then were producing enough milk to breastfeed and making sure everyone knew my weird rules about my new baby. I didn’t really worry about how to raise her. I was just worried about her staying alive. The typical concern for a brand new mom that’s totally terrified.
As my kids grow and develop their own wills and personalities, I see the need for correcting them and disciplining. Its more than diapers and bottles … but raising people who are kind, loving, polite, respectful, and ultimately able to grow into independent and successful adults. Do you mean you already see that in a six year old? Of course I do. I realize my kids are indeed kids and they do not posess the maturity of an adult. I know that just like they have needed to be taught everything else, they have to be corrected when it comes to their behavior. The Bible says to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. It is during their youngest years that we should begin teaching them.
I have failed at this repeatedly. I used to think that yelling a lot would get it done, but that just got my kids not taking me seriously and I was exhausted. Some days I overlook things and say, “well that’s not bad” … and after several occurrences of ignoring bad behavior, they are out of control. There was a time when I questioned whether or not being a stay at home mom was for me, if mothering was really my thing. I was just so miserable and didn’t seem to be able to hack it.
God reminded me that if He gave me these kids to mother, mothering is my thing. I’m just still learning how to do it.
The first thing I have to realize is where I’ve been wrong. I completed a study on the book of Proverbs a couple months ago and it revealed to me so many of my weaknesses as a wife, mom, and servant of Christ. As the Lord would deal with me about the words I speak, the tone I use, my inconsistency in discipline, or the lack thereof, I realized I needed His help more than ever. I have to ask God to forgive me and help me with this on a frequent basis.
As life goes sometimes, the kids were doing well and I started to slack on discipline. I was going back to letting things slide and saying, “that’s not too bad.” And sure enough, it bit me in the tail. Things got out of control the other day and I was ready to rip my hair out by the time my husband got home. We can say “oh those kids are being bad” all we want, but I’m the adult. It’s my job to keep things in order and to teach them.
Instead of throwing in the towel and hiding under a rock, (I was tempted to), I asked God for grace and help. As I read my Bible this morning, He reminded me of my goals as a Mama and encouraged me to keep on. I am no parenting expert … I am the farthest thing from it. However, by God’s grace and help, I can be the best mother He intends me to be. He can take the difficulty I experience as I learn and help me to make this home a happy, glorious, and healthy one.
Here are some of my goals as a Mom that I intend to really improve upon. Perhaps one day I’ll go into more detail about each one, but for now, here’s just the highlights:
- Speak softly.
- Speak kind words.
- Don’t yell.
- Be consistent.
- Be merciful.
- Don’t be lazy.
- Read your Bible.
- Be honest about failures.
Every mom has days where they feel like they are completely dropping the ball. I pray that instead of wallowing in defeat, we can hit our knees in prayer and allow the Lord to help and strengthen us in areas of weakness. Just like our kids are learning to be kids, we are learning to be good Mamas. And from what I hear, it’s a life long process. ❤️