conservatism · Politics

Ending My Silence

Goodness gracious. It’s been a long time since I’ve shared anything here.

To be honest, I haven’t known what to say. When I began this blog, I tried to refrain from discussing all things political or current events in the world. I wanted to keep my message centered on motherhood, marriage, life, homeschooling, and so on.

After being very disappointed by the election results in 2012, I swore off the news. I voted for issues which mattered to me and completely avoided current events like the plague. I stopped following news sites and would only check if something major was going on. Or the weather! My mom would want to discuss a headline and I’d say, “I have no idea! The news stresses me out.”

However, 2020 has been a doozy. Unless you’ve been living on an island with no access to media (lucky), you know it’s been an insane year in our country and world. A worldwide pandemic, an election year, racial tensions, conspiracy theories, liberties under attack, panic, censorship … yeah.

Aside from laughing about the toilet paper shortage in early March, I really tried to stay out of it. At first, I was even supportive of some decisions made by government officials.

But things quickly got more insane, as everyone knows.

It began the day a fellow church family was misrepresented by the news for continuing to have service in March-April during our governor’s mass gathering ban. I was disgusted by the amount of hatred they received. I was infuriated by how the media fanned the flames. I was frustrated by how viruses were so deadly at church, but not in long lines at Walmart or Lowes. (Hello stimulus check!)

That’s when I knew I couldn’t straddle the fence anymore. I needed to speak up. As someone who likes to write and articulate thoughts and opinions, I’ll put it all out there if it’s something I’m passionate about.

People are okay with that when I’m more neutral. Going against the narrative, however, is where things get sticky.

As a result, I’ve lost friends. I’ve had family cut themselves off from me. I’ve had people question whether or not I’m really a Christian. And as much as I hate that, I refuse to back down from what I believe is right.

I haven’t really known how to approach that here. I didn’t ever want politics or world events to be a part of what I write, but this is the world we live in. And as Christians, we’ve been silent too long. We’ve been told to be quiet and pushed around. We’ve been given this image of a weak Jesus who bites his tongue when sin is present and blesses it so no one is offended.

We are constantly being force fed the narrative of the mainstream media. Sadly, the voices we hear the least are ones who fight for truth. Sure, we can blame censorship. But as someone who has wanted to remain neutral, I think we carry our own blame as well.

We’ve bought into this idea that if we just share love and peace, God will be magnified. Oh friend, yes. God is those things. But His Word also has much to say about living righteously and standing for truth. His Word promises of a time when His church will be raptured out and those who remain will see darkness like never before on this earth. It’s our job to be honest about that.

Mainstream Christianity is only telling you about the rainbows and joy. It is promising prosperity when, in reality, the Bible says that God’s people would suffer persecution and difficulty. The Bible said we would lose friends and family would ridicule us. The Bible says we WILL face hard times. I’ve discussed that numerous times on here as I have overcome false teaching just like this in church.

We are living in a day where truth is being distorted. The world is saying all good things are evil and evil things are good. We need to be the voice calling evil what it is.

I’ll confess that my pride has restrained me from being “too political” here as well. I want to be liked. I want people to know I understand their problems with church issues like legalism, false doctrine, and so on. I want people to know that I love them. But if I’m hated and unfollowed for sharing the truth, so be it.

In a world where we are constantly inundated with wickedness and corruption, we need more voices standing for the truth.

So, I’m back. But things will look different here. I still want to encourage and uplift! I still want to discuss my experiences as a Christian mama who needs coffee and has a lot of questions. However, there is no avoiding the issues surrounding us. EVERYONE is being affected by the current events of this world.

I can’t stay silent about it anymore.

So, in case you’re wondering where I stand, I’ll simply begin with this:

I am a born again Christian. I believe the Bible is 100 percent true and accurate. I believe Jesus is the only way to Heaven. I am a Conservative Republican who supports the Constitution. I am married to a Baptist preacher who preaches the love of God toward sinners and the hatred of sin. I love conversations with people from all sides as long as they remain civil. I believe all lives matter because John 3:16 said so. I have a lot of questions about COVID-19. I’m a major critic of our governor in KY. I think both major political parties are insane. I don’t trust mainstream media. (Including Fox News) I will be voting for conservative pro-life issues in November.

And I refuse to be silent.

life lessons · Writing

Stepping Back + Other Thoughts

I’ve been blogging since the days of xanga and livejournal. I’ve written in a diary since I was in the second grade. Documenting my life and expressing my thoughts has always been a part of me. Fleshing out my feelings through a journal entry has gotten me through many hard roads. I love going through old journals from my early years in marriage/motherhood and seeing how God worked in my life!

I really wish I still had access to my old blogs from my preteen – high school years, but then again, maybe not! Because blogging was still reserved for a community of only a few people who I had chosen to read my stuff, I was often very candid and detailed in my experiences.

Simply put, some things aren’t worth re living.

Anyway, I say all of that to say this – I see nothing wrong with blogging. Or social media. Or even vlogging. (Although I do think it’s a bit goofy to film and edit our lives for likes and shares. But there’s money in it, I guess.) I appreciate blogs dedicated to giving advice, as they’ve been a huge help to me. Or even ones which document real life in order to show the rest of us we aren’t the only crazy ones. There’s definitely a lot of good out there.

But one day, the idea of documenting my life began to feel ridiculous. Does anyone care what I ate for dinner? Aside from grandparents + aunts and uncles, does anyone really need to see what my kids are doing? Do I really need to share my opinion on everything? Do I need to update you through stories and posts on every detail of my life? And do I need to spend hours of my life reading + watching yours? Why do you need to know that I worked out? Is it even safe?!

I like to blog to share a thought. With much discretion and discernment, I want to write things which would edify and strengthen another in Christ. Or share the frank, humorous reality of being a mom and wife. Beyond that, I’m not interested in opening my life up to the world. I don’t want to live in a false illusion of the highlight reel. Really, I want to have a joyful, abundant life well lived. And then perhaps I’ll write about it, because that’s what I do.

If another person enjoys more than that, cool! But for me, I feel I miss out on the present when I’m thinking of a clever Facebook post or photo. It cheapens the value of the moments I truly live in with my family. Hiding behind a screen removes the need to personally invest time in people and see how they’re doing, because we can just see it on social and let them know we care with a heart.

I don’t know. I guess I just want more than that. I suppose I feel as though I’m missing real life while getting lost in the virtual.

I’m not dogmatic about this. I do not believe social media is a sin or that blogging our lives is wrong. I DO enjoy seeing the positive things about my friends and family as well as staying connected. I like watching funny videos or reading encouraging posts. But couldn’t I just do a little better about making the effort to see how they’re doing in another way?

I don’t know. I’m rambling a lot here. I just think it’s goofy to document every waking moment and then spending time reading everyone else’s rather than just living. Think about how much our conversations with one another would be enriched and how we would personally draw closer if we weren’t so connected on social. (Or if we didn’t depend on it so much to stay connected!)

I also know how vain I can be. I know how I can get a false gratification from likes and hearts. Let’s get real! We can not accurately gauge the success and health of our lives by how we’re perceived through a post!

Anyway, I don’t want to stop blogging. I enjoy this community. But I’m stepping way back. I want to write meaningful things, not just little snippets with trendy catchphrases and hashtags on Instagram. I just want to live life. I want to serve Jesus, my husband, my kids, and the ones I love.

And then I’ll write. Rather than creating experiences to write about or living for content, I’ll create from the outflow of what God is doing in my life.


Christian living · pregnancy

Life Updates

I love to write, but lately I’ve been holding back a ton. I suppose writing for me is letting my hair down, cutting loose, whatever. And with everything that’s been going on this last year, I suppose I’ve been a bit pent up. Does that make any sense?

Mom received her cancer diagnosis in November and from that moment, life got crazy. She is now cancer free, back to work, and doing amazing! But I will say – it shook up our world a bit. I found out I was pregnant in January, which has been a unique experience to say the least. I think I was seven weeks pregnant for a month straight … that first trimester seemed like it would never end.

And school? Well, by the grace of God we have hung in there. Between many dentist appointments, OB visits, mom’s surgeries and days where morning sickness had me curled on the couch … we managed to only get slightly behind. We should complete our school year by the end of the month, just in time for vacation!

So, it’s been a crazy year. And I suppose I have allowed fear and worry to keep me from stopping to smell the roses too many times. I have a book which SERIOUSLY needs revising and editing, but for whatever reason, I’ve thought that if I just let go of my worries and get sucked into that … one more crazy or bad thing might happen. I have had several blog post ideas, specifically talking about pregnancy and pregnancy after loss. But in the shadows of my mind, I think I’m just jinxing myself and something tragic will happen by my acknowledging that this pregnancy is really happening. Like I need to spend my free time with a firm grasp on my fear rather than living life and doing what I love.

The Lord has really been growing my faith through all of this, proving to me that I’m never alone, that He can handle it. And at that scary stinkin’ anatomy scan for the baby last week, He reminded me of His power and control. He held out His hand and simply asked me to hold it.

Oh, it’s not always that easy. I have to do my part through prayer and Bible reading, through casting down my crazzzyyy imaginations. But for the first time in a while, I was able to breathe, look at my fears and say, “so what?”

Sometimes I think we go through these patches of life simply for God to reveal His glory. Pregnancy in itself is a trying of a woman’s faith! I sang a song at revival last week that has the line, “I have peace when it doesn’t make sense.” And indeed, in a world full of trouble and a crazy, unpredictable life, I have peace. It doesn’t make sense. But it’s not supposed to. I am simply supposed to trust my Lord.

That’s what I have to do. No amount of holding tight to what ifs will change the future and it certainly drains me of today’s strength. I simply have to surrender every bit of fear and my future to Him.

That’s been life lately. I’m a bit neurotic and sometimes get a little too stuck in my head, but God is good.

And thank you Jesus! I’m back to drinking coffee after two long months of feeling like the smell would make me vomit.

God’s been good.